What made me less confident about going to shady neighborhoods

I’ve been fortunate enough to grow up in one of the safest countries in the world. In my childhood and youth I never had to witness abject poverty, homelessness, or the kind of disenfranchisement that leaves people with nowhere to turn. I have never been in circumstances where one person actively intends to take another person’s life, be that military conflict or street violence, or anything of that sort.

I have, however, been fortunate enough to travel internationally for work during my career. I’ve been to China, Taiwan, Japan, and Sri Lanka, I’ve spent a lot of time in Germany and Central Europe, and I have traveled on business to the USA for more than 25 years. That’s not a global take by any means, but it has definitely put some things into perspective for me. For the most part, people everywhere are the same and have the same ambitions: to grow up to become something, make a living, have a social circle, maybe raise a family, and feel safe. 

For years I went on my travels thinking I’m OK to intermingle with any kind of people anywhere as long as I don’t 1) make like I pose a threat, or 2) look like I can be quickly stripped of something valuable I’m carrying. In other words, I felt like if I just act friendly and kind, I should be good, right? But then something happened that made me a lot less blue-eyed. 

I was in Las Vegas for a tech conference around 2013 or so. I had flown in the previous day, I was jet lagged in the wee hours, and couldn’t go back to sleep. So, I went for a morning run to command my body back into submission. I left my casino hotel on the main street at about 5:30 am and just went sightseeing on foot. I felt like going off the Strip so I could see other parts of the city, places I had never been before, and maybe learn and understand something I couldn’t pick up in the casinos, taxis, and the convention center. And learn something I did. Running along, carrying nothing else than the workout clothes I was wearing and my room key card in my pocket, I soon realized the neighborhoods started looking different. The streets were dirtier, cars older and beat up, buildings in worse repair, and the few people I saw at that hour looked at me sideways. I still thought nothing of it, I didn’t think I was anywhere I wasn’t supposed to be. I was a kind, good person, afterall, wasn’t I? Then, just as I ran past a house with a tall wooden fence around it, I saw nothing but I heard something from behind that wall, or at least I thought I heard what sounded to me like a handgun cocked back. That “cha-clack” noise the slide makes when pulled back and released to put a bullet in the chamber. I had heard that sound in movies and on the TV, but I know those sounds are typically exaggerated for cinematic effect. I’ve never held a handgun or even seen one up close, so I wasn’t sure what I heard. I didn’t see anybody, and nothing else happened after the sound. 

I was caught off guard, and I definitely ran faster until I made it out of that area. I first thought to myself “don’t be overreacting” and “surely nobody was about to harm you” and “maybe someone was just cleaning their pistol in their yard”. But the more I thought about it, the more stupidly naive I felt. What if on those streets I ran into a little girl holding a gun, who was taught her whole life how people like me are the reason for her parents’ and everybody’s hardship? What if they were taught to hate everything I represent, starting with my skin color, moving forward with having time and energy to exercise, and ending with having the audacity to show up and parade my privilege on their street?! What if no amount of smiles and kind words could stop them from taking their anger and frustration out on me? What if they couldn’t care less that I was just a tourist from a different country – maybe there wouldn’t even be time for polite and cordial introductions and bridge building both ways to establish rapport and sew the seeds of diplomacy and friendship? 

I’ve since come to accept that the world we all live in has its sides, and that sometimes I should go about learning new things more cautiously, or at the very least try to go in with awareness. While this experience took place in the USA, the premise is not unique to America. I try to research my destinations better these days. That means not being afraid of human contact or people, but also not assuming things.